UNANSWERABLES

1. What is the meaning of life?

2. Is there a God?

3. Do blondes have more fun?

4. What is the best diet?

5. Is there anybody out there?

6. Who is the most famous person in the world?

7. What is love?

8. What is the secret to happiness?

9. Did Tony Soprano die?

10. How long will I live?

My Answers

1. We live in an ever deteriorating universe, which will eventually compress to either nothing or form a new big bang … thus rendering life and all endeavours meaningless … on the up side that means no more stupid ads from ‘injuries lawyers are us’, so enjoy life, no as little harm as possible and try to read at least one eighteenth century novel.
2. No. If there were he/she/it would be a schizophrenic sadist with a back garden full of confused Jews, Christians, Voodooist and Ian Paisley wondering what each other were doing here.
3. Yes, because they’re too dumb to realise they’re miserable.
4. Stop eating so much.
5. Yes, to paraphrase mister Python, ‘let’s hope there’s intelligent life out there cause there’s bugger all down here.’
6. Too close to call between Hitler and Jesus so I’ll say Bono … who wants to be one of them and is close to being the other!
7. Love is being able to live with someone despite their annoying habits, that and really hot sex.
8. Wait until everyone on earth is dead and then play with all the toys
9. Who cares .. it’s a tv show
10. Until the end of this sent.......